Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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