Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
