shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize