I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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