i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
