just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
