can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
