Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
