your room smells of hookers.
And success
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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