He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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