He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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