I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
