thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
