We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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