Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I supernannyed him into submission
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?