: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.