Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
