He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
