Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
