just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
