it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
