On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
