Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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