It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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