It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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