so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
