garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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