It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every concussion has its silver lining
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
