she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think a kid would responsible me up
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
