Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think people are normalizing furries
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
