rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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