Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
