I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
