Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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