so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize