The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize