I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
