I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
