Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is glitter all over my balls
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
