got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
soo... how was my night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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