I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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