At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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