He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize