last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
