i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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