maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize