no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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