I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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