I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
