I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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