Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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