Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
