What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
