Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.