I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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