I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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