Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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