its not stalking. its research.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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