Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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