is your mom at the bar?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
