I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
