Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize