so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
