you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
