your room smells of hookers.
And success
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
