apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
