I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
