i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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