tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
