Pappa wants mamma naked
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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