5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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