I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize