Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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