Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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